alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
