So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
