sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
