She said her name was "party"
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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