do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
