Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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