Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize