Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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