oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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