my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
