Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
