I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
