Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize