I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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