OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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