Small penises have feelings too.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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