Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
