Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
