I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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