Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
