they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
