My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
