brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
