Nicole vs. Life
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My balls are so social today.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
