dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize