Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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