porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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