Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
