TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
