he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
