We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
