in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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