how can u be prego again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
