There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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