My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
