i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
