Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
