from now on my penis is your penis
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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