I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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