i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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