Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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