I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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