She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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