I'm lost and stupid without you.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
