She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
