Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
my poor anus
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
