True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
