So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho