I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.