I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly