boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?