the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
