Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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