We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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