i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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