I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
