Betty ford says i'm here all night
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
