i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
