You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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