that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
