and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
