Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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