I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
